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The prescription you are defining has been tried by in of the cases I know of personally, with little success. I would be very careful with the "work harder" advice you give. The fact is, this is NOT his problem to solve. No amount of action he takes change his wife. All he can do, is listen a bit and..do his best to set the proper environment. Now, that would include of the things you mention if not all. He can't give her "state of mind", it's an impossible task. He's not responsible for it. I bought into this kind of appeal, hell I kept at it with determination and holy fuck did I work at it. I got zilch back. I know quite a few friends who got the same results. Because it WAS laid at our feet to change our spouses "state of mind". It was the perfect cop out. Here's your To Do list, you check those off and that's what I want to feel sexy. It's exactly as you describe, you do this for ME and I change my state of mind for you. My counselor hit on something, I actually wish I would have had him on the first go around in MY attempt (like the OP's wife mine didn't think she had an issue). My SECOND councelor said, something interesting INVEST LESS and get more. I didn't grasp it. It was counter to what my spouse told me, what other women told me..they said, invest MORE, work HARDER. Nope, he has to include LESS investment. It allows her to change her state of mind. Attempting to change it for her be met with resistance. He's got to act with a little LESS caring, he should not really give a shit, a little swagger. A little dudeness. Do the nice things, sure, tell her she looks hot, absolutely but also back off. She is going to have to take on full responsibility for her end if she's not happy with who she is and doesn't feel sexy? Well that ain't his deal. This isn't a case of not getting hot and bothered because he's not doing it right, its that she WON'T. I it in how you wrote in the bottom of your post. But it's worded that he's responsible for it, the guys I know, including myself take that on. We think: oh problem, I gotta solve it. He needs to make that distinction. Lady want sex tonight MI Grand junction 49056
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