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5 Things I Want in a Submissive!! m4w 1. Sincere desire to please:
Yes, I know, a lot of us have the sexual fantasy of being forced to do things and to not have control at all. That way it is easier to not accept responsibility for our own actions too. It might be really sexy to start a conversation with a dominant and focus on how this really excites us, but in reality, having to force a submissive to do anything all the time, will get tired. Someone whose kink is dominance and submission is not looking for a constant power struggle. A lot of dominants want someone with a sincere desire to please and obey them and they do not want to work at it all the time. One of the most beautiful moments I can remember with my Master, is the look on his face when I fell on my knees in front of him because I could not think of anything else I would rather do at that particular moment, even when he did not require it. That desire shines from the submissive and shows the care and love that is in the submissive's heart. That might be the biggest turn on for any dominant male.
The need to be force is fine in a single scene or a one night stand, but relationships do not thrive when this is the dynamic.
2. Enthusiastiy open minded person
Are you not automatiy open minded when you are into this lifestyle? Not really. You know the old adage of a man wanting a lady on his arm in public and a slut in bed? Yes, you may have gotten to the place where you identify as a slut in bed or in play, but that does not mean that you are open minded enough. Most dominants I spoke to about this indicated that they are looking for someone with a sense of adventure, someone who will try most things, even if she or he is afraid. It shows a level of open mindedness if you can overcome fear and trust instead. It is also a drag for most dominants if a submissive is so locked into what they have been trained to do that they cannot see or do BDSM in any other way. You will find that special dominant if you let go of your patterns and jump into life. Please just remember to still be safe.
3. Training versus the need to please:
This might be the most surprising thing for me to date. I really thought, like many others, that dominants want well trained girls or guys. I know that online dominants focus on this aspect of service a lot. Training is very important they say when you are interested in a relationship. I was shocked to find out that many dominants prefer the complete newbie, someone that they can train to do what they want in the way they want it. Too much training is a drag for them as this submissive needs to be untrained first and then helped to serve them adhering to their specific requirements. This takes too long in some dominants' minds.
If you are a trained submissive, take heart though because this does not mean that you will never find another dominant. It just means that you can use previous training to focus on learning how to please your new dominant. Use the mindset, not the specifics. If this is how you approach a new dominant, then you are sure to find a place to serve.
4. Being able to take pain is not crucial:
Who told us all that BDSM is only about sadism and masochism. If you are not a masochist, relax. For many dominants, BDSM is about dominance and submission and not pain. Yes, of course, most will resort to some spanking or some form of erotic stimulation that might hurt a bit, but not all dominants pull out a whip when they see a submissive. Whatever would we do without those spankings? There is no question that you will find a lot of sadistic dominants and there may be a latent sadist in your gentle prospect, but you will also find that limits move as you grow and you might grow into accepting and even liking pain play. Just know that you will still find your hero even without that.
5. Intelligence:
Yes, I know I said I will stick to those things doms want that are not strictly vanilla too. I know I did, but this one is applicable to this article. You have heard of the "doormat"? Yes, we all have. Most dominants, who are looking for that special girl/ guy, do not want a doormat. A doormat is fun for an evening or for a weekend, but then they get boring and what do you do with them afterwards. Lock them in a closet and haul them out for use whenever all the sams in your life is busy running your home and business. You see most dominants want an intelligent person who is able to follow instructions and who understands those instructions clearly. Dominants do not like to work too hard, therefore micromanaging you and having to explain something for longer than 5 minutes every time they expect you to do something, will not be attractive,.
If these things describe you, then hit me up and lets see where this goes.
I am a Dom of 5 years and I'm a very open mined person open to all body types and personalities...
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