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• Lady want sex tonight MS Maben 39750 SWM Looking. Does She Exist? SWM 6' tall fairly good looking, stable, employed professional, seeking a good woman for? Who the hell knows where the road goes from here?
  Ideal candidate(s) will be able to fit a good portion of the following criteria. Hey it's my deal don't like it just move it right the hell along.
  Be somewhere between 27 and 3 months and 50ish or so. Can't really say why that range but had to start somewhere. Should have skin color between really pasty white and light chocolate skinned. At least 4' 8 1/2" and 7'0" (will consider all others if really damn cute).
  Blonde. . .no redhead. . .no brunette. . . long. . .short, curly, straigh.. Hell I like it all, decisions like this suck.
  Must weigh less than I do and not scare small children or dogs with looks.
  HWP (height, weight, proportionate that does not mean as big around as tall either) and be in reasonable shape. Not looking for Paris Hilton but I ain't looking for Rosie O either.
  TriSexual (Can/will do it all. alone, together, with friends, outside, or . . .. Or? willing to at least try it once type). Be honest and open!
  I don't care if you're divorced or other things we'll walk through all of that along the way.
  US Citizen or in the process of becoming one. I am not marrying you 'to get you in' unless you got a shitload of cash upfront. (shitload equals $10M in small unmarked bills as a start)
  I don't care where y'all came from but I speak English while here at home in these United Sates and expect the same. Besides I want to know what the hell you just ed me or tell me at the same time in both languages so I can at least learn something.
  No professional types looking for a one hour or evening of 'roses'. No scammers. No I do not want to sign up for your dating site bullshit. Real non spam bot type need only apply.
  Must be emotionally stable, honest, not a thief, no emotional baggage (or at least be able to lug what you got. That means carry on luggage only NO checked bags or trunks full of shit in transit). No drama! We can make that a role play event or something. Liars kicked right to the curb! Just tell the truth and be done with it.
  Drug and disease free expected. You could have inhaled accidentally or something but no usage of accidentally ingesting anything stronger than bong water. I never did (cough, cough) but am willing to accept someone who may have accidentally walked past someone smoking it or something else plausible like you had to ride on Willie's tour bus when your car broke down. No crack or meth heads need apply.
  Can communicate well with male species and make sure they understand what was said and understood completely before assuming anything. Hell being able to communicate reasonably well with others is good too (does not mean texting and yapping 24-7 though). Know how to read and write in a somewhat comprehendible fashion a real plus.
  Be able to dress up or dress way down. Must have at least one pair of really short shorts (mmmm), perhaps a some thongs, some revealing tops, nothing at all, or any other type of comfortable visual play wear.
  Be ok with dirt and grease once in a while, not in bed necessarily unless you want to.
  Employed is always a really good thing. Or comfortably retired is fine too. Casualty of economy fine but not here to support or drive to job interviews. I about pissed my self laughing on that ad I read the other day
  Have mostly complete set of teeth and brushes them at least once a day really well. Showers at least once a day if water is available. Enjoy hot tubs, pools, and maybe even sometime a shower together but only for water conservation type measures of course ;).
  Knows how to fill own gas tank and check vital fluids of a vehicle. Looks at tires and sex club laughlin. can tell someone there may be an issue before it is flat on one side or completely missing like just plain gone.
  Likes cars, trucks, motorcycles and can appreciate their function. Knows how to drive a stick or is willing to learn. Likes pick up trucks (if you have one you go to the front of the line). Can pull a trailer, back one up, or willing to try if needed.
  Must like animals ie; dogs (bigger dogs ideally), cows, horses. . .cats well not really necessary.
  Can maybe fish once in a while. Know how to shoot and has her own gun(s)
  Knows how to make good coffee or where to get it. (sorry this is not negotiable) Like a cup of coffee on a cool morning. Watch the sun go up or go down. Watch the stars. Like to take a nap once in a while. Be comfortable on the couch or at bar or an upscale restaurant. Have someone sleeping right up next to you arms wrapped around. Comfortable together or alone.
  Can cook some or at least run the shit out of a microwave.
  Conservative type values with liberal type attitude for fun and pleasure things ;) Loves her momma.
  Can talk dirtier than a 30 year sailor who became a truck driver, yet be able to talk to a mom like a little catholic school girl.
  Likes to be respected. Not wanting an abusive relationship. Likes to have a door opened. Accepts a boost or grab of the butt to get into the truck or hell even the car if the door opener sees fit with a wink and smile.
  Know how to manage money and pay bills on time. Knows how to use a coupon or two, shop wisely, like to look for the good deals and steals and yet can splurge once in a while just to do it. Wants to be financially well to do while wearing an old pair of jeans boots and shirt sitting at a casual bar somewhere not flaunting it. Likes things that are paid for and owned vs. owed. Understands business.
  Doesn't care if she lives in a converted shop or a big ole house. Likes a comfortable, livable, usable home instead of a show home or rooms you can't walk through much less even fart in.
  Likes to throw a party, likes to party, likes music all kinds or can at least appreciate it, Likes long rides/road trips. Ain't afraid to fly. Maybe knows what a passport is and used for. Likes scary, funny, new, old, and yes even really good dirty movies.
  Can sing even if alone in the car or in the shower and think you sound good.
  Likes real quiet.
  Can appreciate children as long as they are not coming home with you. (Read not playing daddy for 15 years! Kids are fine but older and out or damn close to getting out. Too old for that fun again.)
  Loves our country and respects the flag.
  Knows the smell of oil and shit can mean money in the right circumstances.
  Can dream, can think big picture, and can work the small details too.
  Knows what 50/50 really means.
  Likes to eat all kinds of food from asian to local. Likes a steak medium rare not burnt beyond recognition with no hope of ever reviving it if needed. Likes doughnuts, juicy burgers, seafood, sushi, appetizers. . .etc. Will at least try it once type of attitude.
  Likes a big glass of red wine (or 3). Can drink like a fish if she wants to and act like it. Can knock back a good belt of whiskey, scotch, or a shot if she wanted to. Not a daily thing though.
  Realizes great things come in small packages and big ones too and that real gifts can be as simple as a touch, a smile or watching a bird fly by.
  Doesn't mind someone playing with her butt and boobs once in a while (and perhaps many times daily depending on need and well the person doing the playing).
  Not eligible to run for President or even Wal-Mart greeter due to something too scandalous coming out that would make everyone go Dammit girl! Had a dirty picture or two possibly taken at some point and not embarrassed about what was done and even might do it again. Or maybe that is one thing still needing to be done.
  Open minded live and let live. Appreciates all people if they are hard working and honest, no matter the color or affiliation. Has a soft spot for the special ones, older folks, and those that can't always do for themselves and will hold a door or lend a hand.
  Likes dirty jokes, like to laugh, can burp and fart if needed without lying about it or running off. Can laugh at a good burp or fart and make fun of it.
  Has a very juvenile sense of humor. Understand South Park, Beavis and Butthead.
  Able to laugh and make fun of others (even if they are unaware) knowing you must strike first or be stricken. Knows men are pigs and general deviates and can appreciate the pure splendid beauty in that.
  Knows where to spit if she chews. Smokes outside if she does.
  Doesn't care about a marriage vow on the first date or deems it is mandatory in the first month of a deal to make a long term relationship work,
  Understands that tools and equipment are really important and maybe has her own.
  Can stand in the tool aisle at Sears or Tractor Supply for just two damned minutes without any bitchen after I stood in the women's section for an hour holding your shit looking the part holding a box of tampons or bras. (of course acting up and being somewhat a pain in the ass.
  Reveals a fair portion about me if you read it all and got this far. Interested? Free coffee meet up to discuss? Your move. Send a picture (a real one of you). I will send one back of me a real one. Then set a place in the south end of town you feel comfortable to meet. We go from there.
  PLEASE PUT "REAL THING" in reply somewhere please.
  
  

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  Me ? Attractive and clean-cut bordering on preppy side (in attire only)
  Great sense of humor- can be foul-mouthed in the right company- but your Mom would love me.
  Love to explore different things the city has to offer, DT is cool this time of year.
  College educated, caring, loving, respectful, compassionate, ( your not getting sick are you? )
  Nothing better this time of yr than snuggling up to some good movies...
  Love to cook, big music fan, movie buff, sports...etc
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  Please no game players, if your serious I'd like to hear from you.
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